Pretending to Be Us Read online

  Isabelle frowned at me through the mirror. “You think we’re luring you?” She paused. “Wait, am I a popular girl in this analogy?” She looked more surprised by that than the implication that she’d betray me.

  “I just can’t believe this is real,” I breathed.

  Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Peter was right,” she said, shaking her head at me in the mirror. “I heard him and Daniel talking about it today. You do have a guilt complex, don’t you? Now just sit still and let me do your hair. You’ll find out soon enough that we aren’t setting you up. And if I’m lying, you totally have permission to light me on fire, okay?”

  I couldn’t come up with a response to that, so I just nodded.

  48

  Peter

  Ninety-nine percent of the time, being an actor is a lot less glamorous than people think it is. It’s a lot of waiting, a lot of being ordered around, and a lot of work behind the scenes. For me it’s never eating dessert because you have to keep your abs cut for that shirtless scene the week after next, worrying what the hell I would ever do if I started to lose my hair, and using up every available brain cell to memorize lines that I’d only say once and then need to memorize a thousand more.

  But the one percent of the time when it is glamorous, it’s very glamorous. I stared out on the red carpet that had been assembled in front of Austin’s historic Paramount Theatre for tonight's premiere and couldn’t suppress my smile. Glamorous can be fun.

  Especially when I had the most beautiful woman in the world, my costar, on my arm. Even if she was a bit reluctant. Lucy looked nervous all throughout the ride in the limo to the theater. She’d been nearly silent.

  “You look beautiful,” I told her as the limo pulled up to the curb. “You’re going to do great.”

  Her eyes crawled up and down my body and then searched my face for something. Deception? Disappointment? There was none. Only appreciation and admiration. Okay, maybe a bit of frustration that she still didn’t buy that my intentions were good, but that would be resolved soon. Besides, it was hard to feel anything other than lust when I looked at her tonight.

  Kate had picked the absolute perfect dress imaginable for Lucy. It clung tightly to her upper body, showing off her generous cleavage and curvy hips before flaring out to the floor. She seemed to float in it. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I savored this last moment alone with her.

  “What do I do now?” she said, looking out the window at the velvet rope lined walkway up to the theater. “I don’t know the rules.”

  “Just smile and keep moving while we walk,” I whispered in her ear as we slid out. These events weren’t nearly as bad as award shows, but there was definitely an art to avoid being pulled into endless chit-chat with the press. “I’m right beside you.”

  She nodded uncertainly, but her look of worry melted into a serene smile as soon as the lights hit her. She strode out confidently to the first photo opportunity and let the assistants pose and photograph her like she was a pro.

  That’s my girl.

  Lucy was going to need a good agent after tonight. I’d been thinking about how I could help her find one. She needed someone that would help coach her through the ins and outs of being famous. Considering that she hadn’t been born into it, the lifestyle change was going to be a huge adjustment. But I knew she could do it.

  Even now, she was smiling with all the composure of royalty. I wondered if she’d always been this naturally confident or if being a fake princess for a few weeks had done the trick. Either way, she seemed totally at home being photographed by large groups of eager reporters. I’d arranged for there to be nobody to ask her questions tonight, but now I almost wondered if it was unnecessary. She seemed like she was ready for anything.

  “Lucy!” someone called from slightly ahead of us on the red carpet. I tensed, but it was just Vanessa. She backtracked over with her husband. Lucy's smile froze on her face and then fell off it. She hadn’t seen Vanessa since the shit hit the fan in Avignon.

  I tightened my grip on Lucy’s hand, but then Vanessa hugged her and nearly knocked her off her high heels. Lucy laughed in obvious disbelief at the reception and I felt myself seeing her being won over. Everyone forgave her. Everyone loved her. Especially me. She needed to love herself again.

  “I’m so glad that Peter was able to convince you to come to the premiere!” Vanessa cried, coming over to kiss me perfunctorily on the cheek before returning her attention to Lucy. “I was so worried that you wouldn’t come.” She stood back and looked her up and down. “You clean up good, Princess!” She winked.

  Lucy looked totally stunned. Her gaze flashed over to me and I sent her a look back that said, clearly, “I told you so.”

  Maybe now she’d start to believe in herself again, I thought to myself. If these next three hours won’t convince her then nothing will.

  “I can’t believe that I’m really here,” Lucy stuttered, hugging Vanessa back. She shook her head in disbelief and her pearl earrings caught the light. “I can’t believe everyone is actually happy to see me,” she admitted. “I didn’t think you’d forgive me.”

  Vanessa stared at Lucy like she was being ridiculous. Because she was. “Is this because of the princess thing? You need to just start owning that story. It’s hilarious—and hey, it worked.” Vanessa waved over the next group of people on the way to the theater. “Hey, look,” she said, “Emma and Ward are here with Wendy and Jason.”

  Lucy and I turned to see them, and even I had to admit I felt a bit of fanboy thrill. Ward Williams, the husband of our writer, Emma Williams, was a retired NFL football player. Jason Kane was the lead singer of Axial Tilt, the same mega rock band that Vanessa’s husband, Ian, was the erstwhile drummer of. The band was on semi-permanent hiatus, but I held hope alive they’d get together for one more tour someday. At least I could comfort myself that they’d put out a single especially for ‘Admit You Want Me’ at Vanessa’s request. That was pretty damn good.

  Lucy gasped and stared at me, recognizing Jason as well. I wrapped an arm around her waist.

  “Just smile,” I reminded her. “You’re almost there.”

  She was, too. She was about to arrive. Not just to the film premiere either. She was about to arrive to fame, fortune, and whatever she wanted to do in Hollywood after this.

  I could only hope that there would be some room in her new life for me, too.

  “Is this the one?” Jason asked, nudging Ian and looking at Lucy when our groups collided.

  I bristled. He had better not have eyes on my date.

  Ian laughed and I relaxed only slightly. Jason Kane was supposed to be married, hell he was standing next to his very lovely pregnant wife, but that didn’t mean I should get too comfortable. I was ordinarily not territorial and knew I was overreacting, but this was Lucy. Nobody could have her but me. Introductions were being made, but I was focused on what Ian was saying to Jason. “Yeah,” Ian replied, “she’s the one who claimed to be a Swedish princess to get the role. Her Royal Highness Lucia Antonia Bergen, if I’m not mistaken.”

  Jason grinned as if it was the world’s best story. “Amazing,” he said, coming forward to shake Lucy's hand. Apparently, I was chopped liver since I only got a friendly nod. “I love that you tricked them into casting you. That was absolutely brilliant. It sounds like something I’d do.”

  Lucy stared at him, starstruck.

  “Really?” she asked. “You don’t think it was wrong to lie?”

  He shrugged. “In the entertainment industry it doesn’t matter what’s true,” he replied. “It’s about what you’re able to make people believe. What you can make them feel.”

  “And on that note,” I interrupted, pointing at the ushers who were waving us into the theater. He was too charming to be around Lucy any longer, even if he wasn’t after her. “Let’s go watch our movie.”

  49

  Lucy

  We were just outside the theater when I saw Daniel and Santiago. They were holding han
ds. Daniel’s eyes went wide when we caught sight of one another.

  “Peter, just a second,” I said, pulling out of his hand. “I have to talk to Daniel.”

  “We have to go in,” he said. Everyone else was filtering inside.

  “I’ll be quick.”

  Santiago made himself scarce as I approached.

  Daniel’s expression made me nervous. He’d been my closest friend for the past two years. Other than my friend Aimee, who was still on sabbatical in South America, he was basically my only friend. The thought of losing him made me feel ill. I’d do anything to fix this. Anything.

  “Daniel, I’m so sorry,” I told him as soon as we were within earshot. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  Daniel frowned. He looked really handsome in his tux. He and Santiago really made a handsome pair when they got all dolled up. “You came. I almost didn’t think you had the courage.”

  “Have I lost you as a friend forever?” Of all the confrontations that I’d feared tonight, this was the one I was most worried would hurt.

  “Why’d you do it? Why’d you just let me worry about you?” Frustration was obvious on his face. His dark eyes flashed with a pain I knew I’d caused him.

  I swallowed. “I was being selfish.”

  Daniel looked frustrated. “You were. You gave up.”

  I nodded. “I know I did.”

  His expression was stubborn. “Well, I didn’t,” he told me. “Even after you decided you would just go wallow in self-pity all alone, Santiago and I kept working. When Peter said he’d found a solution, we listened. We pulled this off together.”

  I hung my head. “What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness?” I sighed. “I’ll fix this. Whatever I have to do.”

  Daniel shrugged. “I just need you to promise you won’t ever do this again.”

  I looked up at him. That was it? “I won’t. I swear.”

  “Promise that next time you’ll remember I’m on your side.”

  “I promise.”

  “Do you get it now? Nobody cares about the princess thing?” He looked at me in profound annoyance.

  I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. “I think Wallace Prince cares, he’s not here, is he?”

  Daniel rolled his eyes, softening slightly. “Besides him.”

  “Yeah.” I admitted. “Nobody seems all that worked up about it. If anything, they seem to think it’s funny.”

  “It is funny.”

  “You aren’t laughing,” I replied, still not sure if this could be fixed between us. Daniel was such a good person. I’d hurt him. He’d always been there when I needed him and then when he was working his ass off to try and save the movie, I’d ghosted him. That was unforgivable.

  “That’s because I’m still mad at you,” he told me. But, somehow, he sounded less angry now.

  “Will you always be mad at me?” I asked. I bit my bottom lip.

  Daniel spread his hands, palm up. “What do you think, Lucy?”

  He’d never been the type to hold a grudge before. I mean, he hardly ever even got mad. Other than today, I’d never seen him genuinely angry.

  “I don’t know! I don’t want you to be mad at me...”

  His expression was mild. “Lucy, I care about you. I’m your friend. I just want you to promise that next time you’ll remember that I’m on your side. I’ve always been on your side.”

  “I promise I won’t ever ignore your texts ever again,” I told him.

  “One more thing.”

  “Anything.”

  “Promise me you’ll believe in yourself next time. In Lucy Bergen. Not in Princess Lucia. But in you. Because we all could have avoided a lot of pain over the last few weeks if you’d just given yourself a little bit more credit.”

  I sighed. “I’ll try. I really will.”

  Daniel regarded me seriously for a minute. It was the longest few seconds of my life. Then, finally, when I was about to worry that he’d changed his mind, he nodded.

  “Okay,” he said.

  “Okay?” I questioned.

  “That’s what I said.”

  “Well, then can we hug now?”

  He smiled and I felt my worry dissolve. “Yeah,” he said. “We can hug,”

  I threw myself into his arms and we both stumbled backwards. Was it this easy? Apologize and get forgiven? I did not deserve Daniel.

  “You and Santiago look really hot together,” I told him when I was finally done hugging him.

  Daniel smirked. “Yeah, we do, don’t we?” He straightened his bowtie primly. “You and Peter look okay too. I mean, for a straight couple.”

  “Gee thanks.”

  “I like the dress,” he added. “It looks great on you.”

  “I didn’t pick it,” I admitted.

  “That's obvious. It’s probably why I like it.”

  We were going to be okay.

  An usher came out of the theater and tapped his watch while staring at us expectantly. It was time to go inside.

  “Shall we?” I asked Daniel.

  He took my arm seriously and led me to the doors. My heart started to pound again. I may have won back Daniel, but this night wasn’t over yet. “Yes, we shall.”

  50

  Peter

  The last few seconds of the film opened on a house that didn’t have a dry eye in it. As I often did when I watched myself on film, I tried to forget that I was watching myself. It worked better than usual tonight.

  “I feel better,” Eva said, stretching her arms and looking behind her at Will. They’d just made love and were standing together in the kitchen, wrapped in bedsheets and tousled. Will laughed low in his chest, and it came out as an almost growl.

  “Me too. Does this mean you’ll take me back?” Will’s voice was tired but happy sounding.

  “I don’t think I ever really gave you up. At least in my heart.” Eva smiled back at him over her shoulder. Her expression was tender, and vulnerable. Her lower lip trembled slightly, like she was unsure that any of this was real.

  “Good, because you’re mine.” Will’s voice was possessive.

  Eva looked surprised by it, but then she smiled. It was obvious that this morning had not turned out the way she expected. She never could have imagined they’d end up like this, not after everything they’d been through. Still, she was as happy as she’d ever been. All of this was clear just by looking at her face. “You’re mine right back,” she mumbled, nuzzling into his shoulder.

  “That’s the idea,” he replied, sounding satisfied at last.

  “I’m not coming back to the bar though,” she told him, looking up seriously. Her blue eyes were resolute. “I really don’t think we should work together. Plus, I’d just have to quit in another month and a half anyway.”

  He shrugged his shoulders and pushed a lock of hair back behind her ear. “You were a great waitress, but I’d rather have you as my girlfriend than my employee any day.” Then he looked sheepish. “Also, and don’t get mad, but my sister already replaced you.”

  Roll credits.

  The audience erupted in applause. This is expected at a premiere. They pretty much have to clap. But this was not regular applause. This was real applause.

  At my side, holding my hand clutched so tightly in hers that I didn’t think the feeling would ever return to my fingertips, Lucy finally relaxed. She’d been on tenterhooks this entire time. From the moment the lights went down until this moment, she’d been unsure. Now, finally, she appeared to get it.

  “Believe me now?” I asked her, having to say it fairly loudly because the applause had now become a standing ovation. “Do you forgive yourself now?”

  She nodded, almost crying herself. “I believe you,” she stuttered. “But I really need to get out of here now, Peter.” She was obviously overwhelmed. She’d reached her breaking point. “I need you to get me out of here before I melt down.”

  51

  Lucy

  “We’re not going to the afterparty,” Peter
told the driver as I stared at my hands, feeling totally out of my body and unreal in the backseat of the huge SUV. My heart was pumping overtime. “Take us home.”

  He’d gotten me out of the theater and into the limo in under thirty seconds. I don’t think I could have handled any more than that. I’d never in my life had an evening like the one I’d just had. On a lot of levels. I’d met people I’d never thought in a thousand years I’d meet, and then they watched my performance and clapped. They liked me. They really liked me. Who’d have thought?

  “Are you alright?” Peter asked, leaning down to unbuckle the straps on my shoes to free me from the heels. He dispensed with them in record time. Then he slid me into his lap and cradled me like a baby. “Was it too much?”

  There were no words left to express what I felt. I reached up and angled his face down to kiss him. I was all out of fight. I couldn’t fight my attraction to him anymore. I wanted, no, I needed a release from all the feelings swirling inside me. I was happy, yes, but it was too much. I needed it all to stop. Just for a minute. Or better yet, an hour or two. And I knew that Peter could do that for me.

  He could fix my brain by fucking the feelings right out of me. We both knew it.

  He kissed me back with so much passion that I could barely breathe.

  He'd been such a gentleman tonight. All evening he’d been careful. Careful not to touch me, not to push me when he knew I was delicate and vulnerable. Careful to let me figure out for myself what he’d been telling me all along. He treated me like I was made of glass and might shatter at any moment, and for good reason. But now the gentleman was gone, and he’d taken all of Peter's careful restraint with him. What was left was... well, exactly what I needed.

  Peter pulled away from claiming my mouth for just long enough to flick a button. A panel raised up between us and the driver. I should have been grateful for the privacy, but at the moment it was just a momentary distraction. I dragged his attention back to me. Peter’s green eyes were full of something raw and primal. I felt an answering need in me. This was going to happen, right here, right now.